Between Us Girls

A Movie-ng Message - Pixar's Plea for the Environment

WALL-E, the latest in a string of Pixar spectaculars, opened this past weekend and we thought it would be a fun movie for the whole family. Who doesn't love a story about a cute little robot and his escapades in space? Well, it was a fun movie in some ways and it certainly provided the clever animation and storytelling that we have come to expect from Pixar. But I found it more disturbing that I did entertaining and, honestly, that made me love it even more.

The ads for the movie focus on the antics of a robotic E.T. look-a-like. What the movie trailers don't let you in on is that WALL-E isn't just any robot. He spends his days on what is left of the Earth after the “progress” of humankind polluted and depleted it to the point hat the Earth is no longer able to sustain life. The humans, having left to live “in space,” leave WALL-E behind to clean up the mess.

The bulk of the story revolves around WALL-E's relationship with a bot named EVE who is sent back down to Earth to search for signs of life. While the story on the surface appears to be about WALL-E's relationship with his new friend, the underlying story of the human destruction of the Earth is

Finding the Meaning of Life

We all have our moments...times when we just don't like the way life is going, when we feel that nothing is working, when everything seems so overwhelming. We feel like we're swimming upstream and we wonder why we are even bothering. What's the use? Why does life have to be so hard?

Sometimes life is hard. But it's also true that no matter how difficult it gets, there is always a way to go on. Always. No matter what. Whatever your circumstances, you can find something to live for. But when we are in the midst of a bad time, we can easily lose sight of that fact, can't we? Times like these call for drastic measures. Times like these call for a story. Let me tell you one

How You Can Fight Materialism and Win

This post is the third in a series on the dangers of materialism.

An unchecked focus on materialistic values can cause so much harm to us personally, to our relationships with others and to the ecosphere as a whole. In“The Scourge of Materialism” we learned that materialistic people are generally less happy and more likely to act in socially and environmentally damaging ways. In “The Costs of Materialism” we took a more in-depth look at the personal, social and ecological costs of materialism.

The result? We know that materialistic values are not congruent with a psychologically, socially and ecologically healthy way of life. But what, if anything, can we do about it? Living in a society that is built on the drive toward material gain, how can we manage to live a life based on more pro-social values? Is it even possible? 

The Cost of Materialism

This is the second post in a three part series on the dangers of materialism. For an introduction to the subject, please read “The Scourge of Materialism.”

Our society has centered itself around materialistic pursuits. We place a high value on financial success, social status and the many symbols that represent both. Quite often, we push the people and activities that we love onto the back burner as we pursue the better job, the bigger house, the shinier car.

But these symbols of success have a price and we're not just talking about money. The costs of materialism are far broader than that. Their impact extends well beyond our bank accounts to our personal

The Scourge of Materialism

It seems that there is a plague in our midst. It threatens to steal away our health, our happiness and perhaps our future. Celebrity carriers like Paris Hilton and Donald Trump may be it's poster-children but they have a lot of not-so-famous company. Look around...it's likely that many around you have already been infected. In fact, chances are good that it's gotten most of your loved ones and quite possibly.......you.

Materialism, consumerism, commercialism...call it what you will. It permeates our culture. Buying, spending, accumulating...these are the building blocks of our society. Our values reflect it and our government encourages it. Feeling good about ourselves comes not from what we do, but what we have. Social status is based on wealth and possessions. Legislation is designed, not to protect the common good but, to protect corporate profits and shareholder interests and to preserve the link between money and power.

Research (not to mention common logic) has demonstrated that the more people value materialistic goals, the less happy they are and the more likely they are to act in socially and ecologically damaging ways. It is becoming more and more clear that when we choose to define success in materialistic terms, we pay a very high price. Here in the United States, we are reaping what our capitalistic society has sown and most of us are disappointed with the harvest.

Huge fuel costs (despite record fuel industry

How Spirituality Can Help You Reach Your Goals

     Some of us are naturally spiritual people and some are not.  Some of us equate spirituality with religion and some do not.  Whether we attend church, chant and meditate, participate in drum circles or eschew all things spiritual or religious in nature, one thing that we do share is the tendency to build our lives around our goals.  We can also agree that achieving the goals we set for ourselves isn't always easy.

     I have written elsewhere about the importance of choosing our goals wisely.  Goals that are congruent with our values are much more meaningful and more likely to be attained.  But psychological research shows that having goals that are not just meaningful, but spiritually meaningful, boosts our power to achieve.

"Psychological studies have recently begun focusing on better defining and studying spirituality, as opposed to a cloudy mix of religion and spirituality, and the results are quite interesting. It turns out that a sense of spirituality can be good for you, especially when it comes to achieving your goals."

     Having spiritually meaningful goals doesn't mean that you need to become religious or set goals like "ending hunger" or "saving the whales."  But contemplating your place in the world and the meaning of your life may help guide you in determining the goals that are most meaningful to you.

The Strength to be Yourself

     Once in a while I get in a funk...don't we all? I fall into the trap of comparing myself with others, regretting past mistakes, wishing I had done things differently or that I was more like someone else I imagine to be far better off. For a day or two, I can't seem to muster the energy to take all of my own advice on positive thinking, gratitude, living in the here and now, blah, blah, blah.

     Hey, I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. Yes, I know better and yet sometimes, even knowing better isn't enough to keep my spirits up when things aren't going my way. So, I allow myself a day or two of moping and then I get on with my life. I get back on the positive psychology wagon. I focus on the moment, try to meditate, exercise (of course), engage in activities that foster more positive emotions (like reading or walking outside or a little gardening) and the world seems bright once again.

     It's good that I go through this really. It keeps me humble and serves as a reminder that there is a lot of unhappiness in the world and that we are all susceptible. Experiencing it myself now and again helps me to be more compassionate towards others who are feeling low and maybe don't have the knowledge or the skills to pull themselves out of it like I do. I believe that we all need to do what we can in this crazy world to try to stay positive, to improve our lives and to be happy. I also believe that we owe it to our friends, our families and our neighbors to reach out and grab their hands and lift them up as well.

Mindfulness Meditation and Stress Reduction

 

     Stress is a given in our lives. Difficult people, time pressures, repetitive and routine tasks, financial concerns, and a lack of self-confidence are some of the most common stressors we face. But it is not the stressors themselves that cause the problem. It is the way we handle, or fail to handle them, that causes us grief.

     Meditation has long been known to assist people in dealing effectively with the stresses in their lives. It is a simple and proven method, yet few of us take advantage of it. Why? Perhaps because we see it as being much more difficult than it really is. We view it as something foreign, something that is one small part of a very complex religious or philosophical system that we may have no interest in or little time to pursue. Or, we just think it is too hard.

Parents and Children - How Much Influence Do We Really Have?

      As parents, we often worry about how our kids will handle things as they grow up. We try to teach them all that we know in the hope that what we are telling them will get locked away in their brains and that, when faced with temptation or a difficult choice, our words will be recalled and a wise choice made.

     But how much influence do we really have on our children's behavior? There is some good news here. Research has shown that throughout our children's lives, we parents really are the strongest influence on our children's behavior. Our kids are listening and learning from us. They do consider what we have to say about issues and when they are confused or unsure, we are often the first ones to whom they turn for advice...until high school, that is.

     When our kids become teenagers, we parents lose our power. Teens still hear our voices if only faintly, but there are new voices – those of their peers. Parent's voices simply cannot be heard over the din. The voices of our children's peers are far more piercing and persuasive.

     What problems can this create for our kids? Well, at a time when our children are beginning to grow up and are faced with many more temptations and life-altering choices than we might like, they are taking there cue from their friends. Peers are their primary counsel when it comes to whether or not to become sexually active, to use condoms, to drink, to take drugs, or to smoke. Should they wear their seat belts? Should they wear helmets? Should they use sunscreen? The list of important decisions that our children are faced with in their teens is endless.

The Power of Positive Emotions

     We all know that positive emotions are desirable.  Who wouldn't rather feel loving than hateful, joyful than fearful, or happy than disappointed?  It doesn't take a brain surgeon to tell you that positive emotions make each moment that we are experiencing them a pleasure.  But the truth is that positive emotions are far more powerful than that.  Thanks to the work of Barbara L. Fredrickson, we now know that positive emotions can bring, not just momentary pleasure, but long-lasting benefits as well.

    Fredrickson's Broaden and Build Theory of positive emotions shows that positive emotions produce optimal functioning, not just in the present moment, but over the long-term.  Her contribution to the field of Positive Psychology has been significant, but her work can benefit each of us individually as well. 

The Earth Runneth Over - Musings on Birth, Death, Nature and Population Control

      Two Sundays ago we had the first beautiful day we have had in a long time...sunny and warm and just about perfect.  So we packed a picnic lunch, piled in the car and drove to Salt Springs State Park.

     Salt Springs is a rather rustic park in Northeastern Pennsylvania.  It's full of old growth Hemlock's, a variety of wildlife and some moderately challenging trails.  As we hiked, we paused occasionally to catch our breath as the beauty of nature (and some pretty steep trails) threatened to steal it away.  Then, tired and hungry, we sat by a lovely creek and listened to the sounds of water tumbling over rocks as we ate lunch.  All-in-all it was a beautiful day.

     I hope to spend more of my days in this way...exploring our beautiful natural world and having fun with my family.   There are still so many scenic, unspoiled places out there, but they are disappearing and rather quickly.  Can we continue to take them for granted?  Dare we assume that they will still be there for my children to bring their children to?  I wonder.

     While we were hiking we stopped to read the few educational plaques that were posted along the trails.  I already knew that when this country was settled, most of what is now the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania was covered with forests much like the one I was standing in.  William Penn named the Commonwealth Pennsylvania for a reason ( it means Penn's Woods).  What I didn't know was that in the last 100 years of human progress, population growth and industrialization, the forests of Pennsylvania have been reduced to 1/10th of 1 percent of their original size.  Think about that for