Wow, I Guess Cell Phones Really Do Cause Brain Damage

As a society, we are fascinated by gadgets of all kinds. Laptop computers, digital cameras, iPods, BlackBerries are our new best friends.  We take them with us wherever we go, we gaze at them lovingly, we we share our deepest secrets with them. Even those of us who are technological dinosaurs, tend to at least be hip enough to have a cell phone. But, like any new drug, our high-tech toys come with potentially serious side effects.

Most of you have heard that studies have linked cell phone usage with brain damage and tumors, especially in children. But that's not exactly the kind of brain damage I'm referring to. I'm talking about behavioral rather than anatomical and physiological brain damage. You know – the kind of damage that, despite healthy neurological tissue, leaves us acting like social morons.  What ever became of manners, discretion, common courtesy?   Are social skills, like eight-track tapes and mullets, simply destined to become a thing of the past?  And why exactly am I going on and on about this?

Well, I was recently reminded of how our love affair with electronic gadgetry can turn us into blubbering idiots.  Let me share with you a tale of electronic be-witchery and human frailty.......a cautionary tale if you will.

I was in Sears the other day, walking from the shoe department to the children's department with my two kids in tow. As we passed the registers (centrally located for no one's convenience) a young woman came out of the children's department walking toward us, chatting away loudly on her cell phone. The sales clerks, my two eight-year-olds and I were treated to her end of the conversation which went like this:

“So, I went into the bathroom (dramatic pause) and I pulled down my pants and..................”

Yep, that's what she said. If the kids weren't with me I might have followed her to hear the rest. What happened when you pulled down your pants? Was anyone else in the bathroom? Was there screaming...laughter...panic?  My husband suggested that I should have followed her and asked to hear the rest of the fascinating story...that maybe that would have taught her a lesson. But, well, I wasn't really in the mood for being punched in the face, so I just did my best to attempt to use what had happened as a “teaching opportunity” for my kids. “Now children, do you see why cell phones can be a nuisance and why you can't have one of your own and how they sometimes make you act like a moron?”

Well, I didn't say moron, but you get the picture. What's happening to people? What are we (or they) thinking?  Did this young woman forget where she was? Was she unaware that there were other people within earshot? Did she just not care and, if not, why not?

This was just the most recent in a long list of examples demonstrating the brain damage that cell phones can cause. Many times, I have been in restaurants and seen similar episodes of  ill-mannered behavior. A young woman (twenty-something) dining out with her aging parents (who were probably thrilled to have the opportunity to visit with their adult daughter) with her Bluetooth headset glued to the side of her head...you know – just in case that extremely important phone call came in – the one that couldn't possibly wait for the ten or so seconds that it might take her to reach into her purse, pull out her phone and press the “talk” button. Give me a break. Even a brain surgeon doesn't need to answer the phone that fast.

I've also watched Dad sitting at a restaurant table with his family and yammering away into his cell phone as his wife and kids try to enjoy their meals and have some frequently "shushed" conversation. Really, could it not have waited an hour... thirty minutes...twenty?

Cell phones are the most common offender for sure, but they certainly aren't the only ones. iPods can also wedge themselves in between us and the rest of the world.  They really are pretty cool, but there is a time and place for everything, wouldn't you agree?  Should Daddy really be walking around with his iPod on during his daughter's birthday party? He might as well be wearing a big sign that says “Back off – I'm listening to something far more interesting than you.”  So much for visiting with relatives, chatting with your neighbors or just being present and noticing your daughter's childhood slipping through your fingers.

Oh, or how about when the family comes for the annual holiday get-together and your brother-in-law spends the whole visit trying out the features of his latest electronic purchase – barely looking up when it's time to come to the table for dinner? Rude, you say? Yeah, you're getting the picture. I mean we all know that it can be hard to find common ground and make conversation with extended family sometimes, but shouldn't we at least try? Wouldn't it be nice to let our family know that they are worth the effort?

Don't get me wrong. I think modern technology has given us some wonderful, new tools. Where would we be without them?  I guess my point is that we just need to learn how, and when, to use them. As my Dad (and Epicurus) used to say, “Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance.” Well, my Dad just said “Everything in moderation.” Same idea.

All in all, when we allow our fascination with technology to overrule common courtesy and manners, isn't it time to rethink things? It's funny in a way that, by trying to make ourselves more available and accessible with cell phones and the like, we have actually made ourselves inaccessible to those whom we care about the most. Our desperate need to remain plugged in at all times makes it impossible to give anyone we are with our full attention.

You have to admit that while the conveniences offered by modern technology are nice, a rushed conversation with your son as you approach the airport counter and attempt to check-in your baggage while simultaneously listening to his tales of playground bullies and little league triumphs simply cannot replace a twenty minute bedtime conversation from your hotel room, where nothing but your son's words command your attention. Modern life is great but sometimes, the old-fashioned way really is best.

So, turn off your cell phone, push yourself away from the computer and put the iPod aside. Take a moment to give whatever you are doing or whomever you are with your full, undivided attention. Tune in the old-fashioned way. You never know what might happen.

Comments

[Elaine]

Amen! You articulated my thoughts exactly.

What I also find disturbing: walk across any college campus and at least 50% of young adults are off in their own little world, chatting on cell phones or listening to their IPOD. There's no eye contact. No friendly smile of acknowledgment. Back in the day, walking across campus was a highlight in my day - you never knew whom you'd run into and what fun might ensue.

Now, as I walk to my graduate class, I just feel sad and a bit isolated. They don't know what they're missing ...

[Beth Nixon]

I couldn't have said it better.
Technology should be a tool, not a way for us to escape the "right now" of our lives.

I take my kids to the playground and have seen mothers following their kids around, chatting on the phone the ENTIRE time. Or the dad who talked for 45 minutes while pushing his kid on the swing. The kid was bored and kept looking to his dad who just ignored him.

What message does that send to your child? That the person on the other end of the phone is more important.

Or the baby shower were several people were busy texting and couldn't take the hour out of their lives just to celebrate with someone.

We use it as a way to avoid being present in our own lives and we, as a society, will grow to regret it.

That said . . . I'm off my computer to go play with my kids. No phone needed.

[Bill]

I enjoy technology as much as the next guy, heck it makes my chosen profession much easier than it used to be, but cell phones have become the bane of our existence (IMHO) Yes I have one, rarely use it.

How in the world did I survive my younger years, having to find a pay phone (remember those?) and use a quarter, and then it was for a real emergency.

Now here is my example of something that is just disgusting. Standing at a piece of porcelain in a room reserved for men, I think I'm alone, but then a phone rings. What? Then someone answers. No one standing near my, but in the stall... there is a full blown conversation going on. I'm sorry, nothing is THAT Important. I only wish I could have some control over the volume of the flushing sound, so the person on the other end of the conversation would know the situation. And hopefully hang up in disgust.

Some days I wish for the days of bearskins and stone knives.

[Lori]

Whew! I'm glad to see I'm not the only one out there that sees the dark side to all this new technology.

Elaine,

I agree that it's sad that even making eye contact and sharing a smile as you walk across campus is a rarity. That's just more evidence that the gadgets that are supposed to be making it easier for us to stay in contact with one another are actually driving us apart.

Beth,

Our preoccupation with cell phones and the like will probably cause even more harm to our kids than it does to us. We (as a society) aren't just sending our children a painful message, but we are setting a bad example as well. Let's hope that they somehow manage to NOT follow in our footsteps!

Bill,

Thanks for the colorful illustration of when and where talking on a cell phone is just plain wrong! And, yes, I do remember pay phones. Seems like an eternity ago, doesn't it?

[Bill]

Was an eternity from here. lol.

I remember back in the late 90's when I first got online, I was discussing with a friend how e-mail had brought back the art of letter writing. Well even that, pardon me, has been bastardized into an annoyance of jargon, and "texting." Oh, how the language is being destroyed!

Another thing I cannot stand, or at least it makes me laugh, are the littel bluetooth headsets. Everytime I see one I harken back to Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated."

hope things are well with the little ones.

[Barbara Swafford]

Oh Lori,

Don't get me started. I have the same pet peeves as you. Have manners really gone out the window?

[Margaret]

The problem is that anybody who has the ability to "get a clue" already would have. Good Luck getting morons to stop acting like morons. That's why morons will act like YOU are the bad guy when confronted for their bad behavior. I'm with Barbara before me...don't get me started.

[Michael Miles]

Here in Hong Kong we see this all the time. Families having a meal in a restaurant - mom is on the phone, kids are playing with their NDS or PSP. No communication. I thought these things were supposed to help us communicate better? Something has gone wrong here.

[Craig Soderland]

>Oh, or how about when the family comes for the >annual holiday get-together and your >brother->in-law spends the whole visit trying >out >the features of his latest electronic >purchase – >barely looking up when it's time to >come to the >table for dinner? Rude, you say? >Yeah, you're >getting the picture. I mean we >all know that it >can be hard to find common >ground and make >conversation with extended >family sometimes, but >shouldn't we at least >try? Wouldn't it be nice to >let our family >know that they are worth the effort?

Rude per SE, perhaps but then again also expected of me to keep up with what is expected of me at work.

See unlike you, some of us have obligations to A: provide for their family, and B: conform to the expectations of their business environment.

In my world I am on call 24 hours a day. whether I am officially on call or not.

Case in point it's Sunday, 02:47am and I'm working and will have to be in the office at 8:00, what are you doing?

So if you have problem with me appeasing the powers that be in my work environment to maintain my job and dodge the reductions in force then that's on you. At least I had the good sense to keep my activities quiet and not intrude on the family while I dealt with some problems.

And while we're setting the record straight, this was not new technology, Had you been paying attention you would have noted that that leash was forced on me by my company about a year or so prior. but that's right for most of the time at camp you were all out doing nuclear family stuff while I chatted with Alice and Jim. So no, not new tech, but thank you for playing anyway.

And before we get on the business of ignoring the family, shall we count all the family gatherings that I have been at that I noted your missing family members? Seems to me there were many missed.

So again if you have a problem with my insuring that I stay gainfully employed, deal with it. On the other hand what's your excuse for not coming to all the family events, at least even if I have work to do I make an attempt? Seems to me we have a case of the Pot also being black too.

-Cheers!

[Cathy]

I would have posted a comment if I wasn't texting and listening to my ipod.

[Lori]

Craig,

Wow...must have struck a chord, otherwise why all of the ranting and raving and cheap jabs? Why would you assume that I was speaking about you in the first place? My examples are generally composites of people that I have observed and/or been told about. In fact, the brother-in-law of a close friend of mine quite fits the description of the brother-in-law in my post. Interesting.

But, since you're working under this assumption and have chosen to use this forum to insult me personally, and to bring up some interesting although perhaps misguided points, let me respond.

Many people have jobs that require long hours, working in the wee hours of the morning and keeping up to date...my husband's job and parenting both come to mind. I think that I can speak for many mothers when I say that I, too, am on call 24/7. I, too, have spent many a sleepless night and have had to conform to the expectations of my work environment. I, too, provide for my family - not financially but in so many other, equally important ways. Your comments, which imply that you believe that only people who are working outside of the home are of any value, say a lot more about you than they do about me. I wonder how your wife feels about these remarks?

Now, who exactly are Alice and Jim? Apparently you spent a great deal of time with this couple and yet I'm not sure who you are talking about - are you? And while it's true, that I do not attend every family function, I do actually ATTEND the ones that I manage to get to...by which I mean that I am more than just physically present.

Now, if you insist on: A) working under the assumption that you are the rude brother-in-law mentioned and B) arguing that it's your job that requires you to behave this way and C) implying that you are somehow better than me because you bring home a paycheck...please, tell it to somebody who might actually buy what you're selling, 'cause I'm not buying it.

If one of the examples in my post struck a chord and that upset you, I'm sorry. It was really not my intention to upset you or anyone. But if, on the other hand, my post made you think and caused you to take a moment for some personal reflection, then I take back my apology and instead simply say "you're welcome." My posts are meant to be informative, thought-provoking and helpful. If what I wrote helped you to see a part of yourself that you don't like and that awareness leads you to change it, then "mission accomplished." If you choose to pass up the opportunity for introspection and growth, and to lash out instead, well that's your choice.

[Lori]

Barbara, Margaret, Michael and Cathy,

Thanks for the comments and the good laughs. I always love to hear from you.

[Cathy]

As a stay-at-home 24/7 mom I must say---Amen. Thank you for articulating the thoughts of most of us. You go girl!!

[Christine]

I was reading your entry this morning and my sweet little 9 year old boy woke up and sat on my lap...we read the end of your entry together and he gave me a big hug...now I'm signing off...you're right...together time in person trumps everything.

[Lori]

Christine,

Thanks for the affirmation...have a wonderful time with your son!

[that little voice in your heard]

wow, sounds to me like someone needs a new job.

Work to live, not the other way 'round.

[Shilpan]

Lori - I believe that cell phone has taken the most cherished values of human race -- family life, closeness to nature and enjoying the simple pleasure. These are important things yet with cell phone we have lost our soul as a society.

Shilpan

[lenno_cornish]

Of course any technics has some damage on person's brains and mental abilities. Cell phones as well as computers should be limited in usage for the sake of our health.