Between Us Girls

Pointing the Finger of Blame

Right now, the majority of Americans are worried.  Will I still have a job next month?  Will I be able to afford health care next year?  How will I ever be able to send my kids to college?  What chances do I have of ever retiring?  Can I make my mortgage payment?

These are the questions most of us are asking ourselves, when we're not busy pointing the finger of blame, that is.    While it's fair to say that blaming won't fix anything, there is something about the ability to lay blame on someone, someone other than ourselves of course, that is comforting.

You will probably agree that our time would be better spent on more important things, like keeping our resume's up-to-date or cutting coupons.  But if the compulsion to blame cannot be denied, we at least need to make sure we are pointing the finger in the correct direction.

It's so easy to find fault.  The Republicans blame the Democrats, the Democrats blame the Republicans, we all blame George W. Bush.  CEO's blame government regulations, legislators blame greedy CEO's.  Banks blame borrowers, the borrowers blame the lenders.  When all else fails, we look to our neighbors and co-workers and we turn on each other.  Our anger and our feelings of helplessness can lead us to assign blame pretty randomly when it comes right down to it.

A recent example of this comes to mind.  My husband works for a company that has been attempting to squeeze blood form a stone for years when it comes to their employees.  Every year, there is more work, longer hours and

Huffington Post Journal: Installment #3

The third installment of my volunteer journal is up at the Huffington Post for those of you who might like to take a look.  Click here to read it.

More Huffington Post Journal

I have a new campaign volunteer journal installment up over at the Huffington post for anyone who is interested.  Click here to read about my volunteer experiences over the past week and, please, leave me a comment so I know you've stopped by!  Thanks.

My Huffington Post Journal

For those of you who are interested in the current presidential election as much as I am, check out my post at Huffington Post.  For the next few weeks, I am keeping a journal of my volunteer activities and posting the more interesting portions (once a week) at Huffington.  If you're interested, click on the link to my post and please leave me a comment there.  Thanks!

Taking Action to Reduce Stress

We're all familiar with stress. We know the symptoms; headaches, stomach upset, sleepless nights, irritability. And we know the causes; marital problems, job issues, parenting challenges . . . oh, and I almost forgot . . . a crashing stock market, a failing economy and a rapidly disappearing faith in a financially secure future.

So what do we do about it? There are lots of stress remedies out there and I've tried them all. Well, most of them anyway. Exercise, positive thinking, yoga, meditation . . . you name it, I've done it. While I've gotten some benefit from each, I think that I may have finally hit upon the most powerful of all. Action.

Sarah Palin - The New Face of Feminism?

At some point, the term “feminism,” like “liberal,” became a dirty word (I guess that makes me a very dirty girl). Be that as it may, the word “liberal” has a true meaning that is far more attractive than one might be led to believe by conservative name-callers (it means favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs; favoring or permitting freedom of action and freedom from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant,open-minded ).

The labels “feminist/feminism” also have a far more benign meaning than we currently suspect. “Feminism” means “the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.” “Feminist” simply refers to someone who follows that doctrine.

Unfortunately, the term “feminist” has become so criminalized that most women are no longer willing to use it in reference to themselves. Do women realize that in doing so they are actually saying that they don't support equal rights for women? I don't believe for a minute that this is the message they mean to convey, but sadly, even the women who believe that they do indeed deserve equal rights have been brainwashed into saying that they don't...without even realizing it.

Ethics in America

Whatever happened to ethics? Is there still a place for them in American politics? Is there a place for them in American culture?

I wonder about this daily. Ethics seem not to matter much these days. So many of us are alarmingly unconcerned with them particularly when it comes to the race for the White House. Lies and smears that once would have generated indignation and horror, have become routine and ho-hum. Their relevance to the presidential election simply does not exist for some. How can that be?   How is it that so many of us can be so seemingly unconcerned with the moral principles, or the lack thereof, of the people to whom we will soon give ultimate power?

Maybe we have just forgotten what ethical behavior looks like, or perhaps “ethics” seems antiquated or overly philosophical. Heck, maybe we've just forgotten what the word means. Let's review:

What the World Needs Now...is Confirmation That Americans Recognize the Errors of our Administration's Ways and are Ready to Do Something About It

Democrats in this country are worried, very worried.  We are dumbfounded by the current polls, by the gullibility of much of the public and by the very high probability that we are in for four more years of dangerous and destructive Republican policies.  And we should be.  This country is in serious condition and with McCain in office we'll likely need to be put on life support.  But we Democrats are not the only ones who are worried.

People around the world are watching this election closely.  The many countries who have disagreed with the Bush/Cheney strategies of the last eight years are holding their breath...waiting to see if we Americans can redeem ourselves.  They don't blame all Americans for the global American debacle of the last eight years.  No, right now, they blame George Bush and Dick Cheney.  But that might be about to change.

The rest of the world is waiting to see if the Bush/Cheney policies are the result of two men's arrogance and deceit, or if they reflect the true values of the American people. How we handle this election, whether we

Equanimity as a Weakness? - I Think Not

During a recent television interview, Barack Obama was asked if he thought that the unusual bit of fiery passion he showed and the few hard hitting remarks he made in his acceptance speech were enough to quell the criticism that he isn't passionate or tough enough to be president. Apparently, many people seem to find his emotional control and his ability to greet questions, criticisms or alternative ideas with a thoughtful response rather than an impulsive reaction off-putting.

Just as advertisers know how to word deceptive claims in a way that makes them more believable and job candidates can cleverly frame their weaknesses as strengths, political opposition and the media can

Sarah Palin for Vice President? I Think I Need a Reality Check

As a Democrat, my initial reaction to John McCain's choice of running mate was one of disbelief quickly followed by wicked glee.  A "hockey-mom" from Alaska, mayor of a town of all of 9000, an inexperienced Governor who is still trying to get a handle on things?  (Snort) How awful and yet, for the Democrats, how wonderful!  McCain just blew a hole in his own sinking ship!.  Woohoooooo!!

That was my initial reaction.  Then I thought a little more about why he chose Sarah Palin.  And that thought process led to a dark and scary place.

The Scourge of Materialism

It seems that there is a plague in our midst. It threatens to steal away our health, our happiness and perhaps our future. Celebrity carriers like Paris Hilton and Donald Trump may be it's poster-children but they have a lot of not-so-famous company. Look around...it's likely that many around you have already been infected. In fact, chances are good that it's gotten most of your loved ones and quite possibly.......you.

Materialism, consumerism, commercialism...call it what you will. It permeates our culture. Buying, spending, accumulating...these are the building blocks of our society. Our values reflect it and our government encourages it. Feeling good about ourselves comes not from what we do, but what we have. Social status is based on wealth and possessions. Legislation is designed, not to protect the common good but, to protect corporate profits and shareholder interests and to preserve the link between money and power.

Research (not to mention common logic) has demonstrated that the more people value materialistic goals, the less happy they are and the more likely they are to act in socially and ecologically damaging ways. It is becoming more and more clear that when we choose to define success in materialistic terms, we pay a very high price. Here in the United States, we are reaping what our capitalistic society has sown and most of us are disappointed with the harvest.

Huge fuel costs (despite record fuel industry

The Importance of Marriage

      There is no doubt that marriage is an important institution in many cultures.  It is a formal commitment between two people who promise to love and care for each other, ideally, for a lifetime.  But just how important is it?

     Some of the issues facing our world today include terrorism, war, genocide, poverty, hunger, and a growing, global environmental crisis.  Within the United States itself, we are battling rising fuel prices and food costs, stagnant wages, health care and education quality and access issues, and drug-related violent crime to name but a few.

     If we were to prioritize these issues, where would marriage fit in do you think?  What would we do first?  Would we try to stop a terrorist bombing that threatened thousands of lives or would we dicker over who isn't willing to sit with whom at the wedding reception?  Would we try to stop the environmental degradation that, unchecked, will eventually make life on this planet impossible and lead to the extinction of the whole human race or would we argue over whether the ice sculpture should be a cupid or a castle?  Would we do something to help make sure that everyone who is sick can  (Read more...)

The Trouble With Sex in America

                                                                                                  

Sex is alive and well in America.  You never have far to look far to find it.  Our society is saturated with it.  Movies, magazines, billboards, t.v. shows, advertising, even Disney pop stars reek of it.  And yet, in spite of the proliferation of sexual imagery and activity, America still attempts to maintain antiquated, puritanical sexual ideals.

     Unfortunately, as so often happens, our behavior doesn't quite manage to live up to the ideals we espouse.  And so, while our children's innocence is stolen from them earlier and earlier, our teens make promises that they can never be expected to keep while being fed a steady diet of sexual imagery and innuendo and our adults gorge themselves on every variation of the act they can imagine, we all busy ourselves trying to maintain the facade of purity.

    We talk the talk, but don't walk the walk.  We send mixed messages to our young people, perpetuate the idea of sex as some sort of guilty pleasure and let our own confused and twisted ideas about sex influence important government policies that end up being misguided, unethical and downright harmful.  (Read more...)

Questions of Morality

     Psst...I have a secret to tell you.  You might find it quite shocking.  Religion does not have a corner on the morality market.  No really, it's true...left to our own devices, ordinary people all adhere (or at least try to adhere) to the same basic set of moral standards.  Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Humanists, Atheists all tend to agree on the same moral precepts...love and compassion, caring for the sick and weak, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, don't kill, lie or steal etc..

     Questions of morality have to do with how what we do effects the happiness and/or suffering of others.  Morals are our code of conduct, our rules for living, our ideas and beliefs about what is good or bad, right or wrong.  It turns out that most of us share a common set of moral standards.  Of course, whether or not we manage to live by them is quite another story.  But what we hold up as our ideals is remarkably consistent.

     Of course, religious leaders would have us believe otherwise.  Here in the U.S. the most vocal of those religious leaders are what we have come to call "Conservative Christians."  Christianity does claim the most adherents of any religion in America, but the most conservative of those Christians wield an inordinate amount of power.  They are very vocal and very forceful when it comes to (Read more...)

Religion and Politics

   Long considered taboo for polite discussion, religion and politics now seem to be the topic of the day.  Who you're for is no longer a private matter when it comes to religion or politics.  In fact, the implication is that they should somehow go hand-in-hand. 

     Last night, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama fielded questions that had to do with their faith, their politics and how the former may influence the latter at a "Compassion Forum" held in Pennsylvania.  Don't let the title fool you, the forum had little if anything to do with compassion and lots to do with nailing down the faith perspectives of our two democratic candidates.

     In America, our nation was set up in a way that would ensure the separation of church and state.  Why - because the founding fathers were a bunch of atheists?  No, because many of the people who settled here had come to escape religious persecution.  They wanted the freedom to worship (or not) as they saw fit.  Keeping a separation between church and state ensured that the political powers of the day would be  (Read more...)

Universal Health Care in America - It's Time for the Truth

     It seems that the time for Universal Health Care in America has come...or has it?  Other nations have been providing quality health care to their citizens for decades, yet the very mention of the idea here in the States gives rise to claims of Socialist agendas, vitriolic accusations of laziness, and other hateful, ignorant and nonsensical rhetoric.

     Why does the idea of Universal Health Care seem to bring out the worst in so many people?  As a person who likes to believe that people are inherently good, I find it difficult to maintain that perspective when I hear people claim that they work harder than others and deserve to keep what they have worked so hard for...or that they don't understand why their hard work should help provide for " those slackers" who just want to live off of everyone else.  Excuse me...am I hearing right?

     So many people in this country work hard everyday, often at more than one job, just to keep food on the table.  Many have no health care coverage or inadequate coverage.  Even those who think they have good insurance often find that their insurers refuse to pay for much of their care.  It's a little thing called record profits in the insurance industry through claim denial.   Sure, there are a few lazy people out there who just want to work the system, but they are the minority.  Most of our less fortunate people are hard-working individuals...people who chose social work over law school or to help support their families instead (Read more...)

Coming Together for Change

     We are in the midst of perhaps the most exciting presidential race in American history; one based on hope, change and new possibilities. But a dream without a plan is nothing more than a wish. 

      Thoughtful planning, skill, strength and diplomacy are essential if we are to see our dreams made real. At this very moment we are standing at the threshold, ready to step into a bold new future....a time when we can actually envision changing our “what if” daydreams into “when” realities. It is truly a time of golden opportunity.

     Our country has always been a land of opportunity, and one that has encouraged the participation of the (Read more...)