Between Us Girls

Giving the Gift of Cleanliness!

There are so many things that can go wrong on any given day.  Most are small things - getting caught in traffic, forgetting your anniversary, burning the toast.  Annoying?  Yes.  Life-altering?  Thankfully, no.

But life-changing events do occur.  Most of us, fortunately, will never have to experience the ravages of hurricanes, floods, tornadoes or other disasters, but for those of us who do, the aftermath can be quite traumatic.  The many conveniences that we take for granted each and every day are suddenly gone.  Physical destruction, power outages and a lack of water can make even the most routine tasks a challenge.

Cooking a meal?  Impossible.  Heat or air-conditioning?  Not until the power comes back on.  A clean change of clothes at least?  Well . . .thanks to Proctor and Gamble - YES!  In an effort to help people who are struggling in the wake of a disaster, Proctor and Gamble is reaching out to help victims to regain some sense of normalcy and comfort by providing them with the possibility of clean, fresh clothing.

Tide's Loads of Hope Trucks and Vans roll in and provide laundry services to families that have been devastated by natural disasters.  There is no way to convey the comfort to be found in the most mundane details of everyday life.  When disaster strikes, most of us feel shell-shocked.  The problem is so huge that we often feel paralyzed and those of us watching from the sidelines wonder what, if anything, we can do.

Well, Proctor and Gamble has an answer.  By purchasing a "Tide's Loads of Hope" vintage-style tee shirt, you can help to support their laundry programs that give a simple gift to those who are in need.  Next time a disaster hits, don't just sit there feeling useless.  There is something that you can do.  Purchase a tee shirt for yourself or a loved one and reach out to someone in need.  It's a quick and easy way to do something good for yourself and the world.
. 

Mid-Life Women - How We Can Change the World

As women, one thing that we all seem to share is the desire to make the world a better place.  Some of us do so by raising our kids to become caring and compassionate adults.  Some of us volunteer in our local communities.  Some of us do our part to create a better world by choosing careers in teaching, counseling, or other "helping" professions. 

The world is no doubt a better place as a result.  But in so many parts of our world, the valuable contributions that could be made by women are inhibited.  Women and girls are too often oppressed, abused or ignored and their power is just another wasted resource.  But there are efforts, both large and small, to change that.

March 8th was International Women's Day - a day designed to celebrate women's economic, social and political achievements and to also build awareness of both the obstacles and the opportunities for sharing in those achievements.

Last night, many theaters had a special showing of "A Powerful Noise."  The film documented the efforts of three women who have, against all the odds, succeeded in championing a cause near and dear to their hearts. 

We met Hanh who learned that she had contracted HIV after her husband and daughter died from AIDS. Bouncing

Changing Yourself, Changing the World

So many of us look at the world and wonder what's gone wrong.  How did everything get so messed up?  Why is there so much hate in the world?  What are people thinking?  Why can't anything be easy?  Why can't we all just get along?

The most optimistic of us continue to hold out hope that things will get better.  Wars will cease, racism and other forms of oppression will fade, diseases will be cured and people will all get along.  But how all this will  come to pass remains a mystery.  Will it happen because we simply wish it to be . . . as if by magic?

"A goal without a plan is just a wish" 
Larry Elder

We all know it already, the fact that wishful thinking gets us nowhere.  We also know that many of the world's problems are much bigger than we are. Watch the evening news and you come to realize that it does us more of a disservice than a service.  Designed to keep us informed, it leaves us instead feeling like we know too much and can do too little.  The problems are so big and our influence so small.  How can we change the world?

Hazing - Are Our Kids Going Too Far?

Hazing is a well-known and long-standing part of the fabric of our society. If we haven't been through it ourselves, we likely know someone who has. But the practice of hazing as a way to indoctrinate a new member of a club, team or other group is on the rise and the ages of the participants are dropping. Is this just a normal part of growing up or should we be concerned?

College fraternities and sororities are perhaps the best known of the groups that regularly require hazing as a rite of initiation, but lately it seems that many high school and even middle school groups are joining in. School band members have been suspended for participating in dangerous hazing rituals, cheer leading squads have jumped into the fray and even some church youth groups are sheepishly admitting that they too have crossed over to the dark side.

Although many still think of hazing as a harmless prank, a joke that leaves everyone, even the “hazees” laughing, hazing is more pernicious than it might appear at first glance. Hazing is defined as “any activity expected of someone joining a group (or to maintain full status in a group) that humiliates, degrades or risks emotional and/or physical harm, regardless of the person's willingness to participate.” The key here is that the activities are, by their very nature, designed to humiliate and degrade . . . and include the risk of physical or emotional harm. And the fact is that, as with so many things, our kids are busily trying to outdo each other. Hazing is becoming an on-going game of one-upsmanship. The activities are getting more risky and more violent.

Should we be concerned? What's causing this and why are our kids directing so much anger and viciousness at their friends?

These are good questions and I'm afraid I don't really have the answers. Could it be that our kids have been exposed to so much violence, from the nightly news to movies and video games, that they have become desensitized and callous? There is a lot of psychological research that suggests media violence can have such an effect on children. Have we as parents lost sight of our values or are we simply failing to

Taking Action to Reduce Stress

We're all familiar with stress. We know the symptoms; headaches, stomach upset, sleepless nights, irritability. And we know the causes; marital problems, job issues, parenting challenges . . . oh, and I almost forgot . . . a crashing stock market, a failing economy and a rapidly disappearing faith in a financially secure future.

So what do we do about it? There are lots of stress remedies out there and I've tried them all. Well, most of them anyway. Exercise, positive thinking, yoga, meditation . . . you name it, I've done it. While I've gotten some benefit from each, I think that I may have finally hit upon the most powerful of all. Action.

A Movie-ng Message - Pixar's Plea for the Environment

WALL-E, the latest in a string of Pixar spectaculars, opened this past weekend and we thought it would be a fun movie for the whole family. Who doesn't love a story about a cute little robot and his escapades in space? Well, it was a fun movie in some ways and it certainly provided the clever animation and storytelling that we have come to expect from Pixar. But I found it more disturbing that I did entertaining and, honestly, that made me love it even more.

The ads for the movie focus on the antics of a robotic E.T. look-a-like. What the movie trailers don't let you in on is that WALL-E isn't just any robot. He spends his days on what is left of the Earth after the “progress” of humankind polluted and depleted it to the point hat the Earth is no longer able to sustain life. The humans, having left to live “in space,” leave WALL-E behind to clean up the mess.

The bulk of the story revolves around WALL-E's relationship with a bot named EVE who is sent back down to Earth to search for signs of life. While the story on the surface appears to be about WALL-E's relationship with his new friend, the underlying story of the human destruction of the Earth is

How You Can Fight Materialism and Win

This post is the third in a series on the dangers of materialism.

An unchecked focus on materialistic values can cause so much harm to us personally, to our relationships with others and to the ecosphere as a whole. In“The Scourge of Materialism” we learned that materialistic people are generally less happy and more likely to act in socially and environmentally damaging ways. In “The Costs of Materialism” we took a more in-depth look at the personal, social and ecological costs of materialism.

The result? We know that materialistic values are not congruent with a psychologically, socially and ecologically healthy way of life. But what, if anything, can we do about it? Living in a society that is built on the drive toward material gain, how can we manage to live a life based on more pro-social values? Is it even possible? 

The Cost of Materialism

This is the second post in a three part series on the dangers of materialism. For an introduction to the subject, please read “The Scourge of Materialism.”

Our society has centered itself around materialistic pursuits. We place a high value on financial success, social status and the many symbols that represent both. Quite often, we push the people and activities that we love onto the back burner as we pursue the better job, the bigger house, the shinier car.

But these symbols of success have a price and we're not just talking about money. The costs of materialism are far broader than that. Their impact extends well beyond our bank accounts to our personal

The Scourge of Materialism

It seems that there is a plague in our midst. It threatens to steal away our health, our happiness and perhaps our future. Celebrity carriers like Paris Hilton and Donald Trump may be it's poster-children but they have a lot of not-so-famous company. Look around...it's likely that many around you have already been infected. In fact, chances are good that it's gotten most of your loved ones and quite possibly.......you.

Materialism, consumerism, commercialism...call it what you will. It permeates our culture. Buying, spending, accumulating...these are the building blocks of our society. Our values reflect it and our government encourages it. Feeling good about ourselves comes not from what we do, but what we have. Social status is based on wealth and possessions. Legislation is designed, not to protect the common good but, to protect corporate profits and shareholder interests and to preserve the link between money and power.

Research (not to mention common logic) has demonstrated that the more people value materialistic goals, the less happy they are and the more likely they are to act in socially and ecologically damaging ways. It is becoming more and more clear that when we choose to define success in materialistic terms, we pay a very high price. Here in the United States, we are reaping what our capitalistic society has sown and most of us are disappointed with the harvest.

Huge fuel costs (despite record fuel industry

The Earth Runneth Over - Musings on Birth, Death, Nature and Population Control

      Two Sundays ago we had the first beautiful day we have had in a long time...sunny and warm and just about perfect.  So we packed a picnic lunch, piled in the car and drove to Salt Springs State Park.

     Salt Springs is a rather rustic park in Northeastern Pennsylvania.  It's full of old growth Hemlock's, a variety of wildlife and some moderately challenging trails.  As we hiked, we paused occasionally to catch our breath as the beauty of nature (and some pretty steep trails) threatened to steal it away.  Then, tired and hungry, we sat by a lovely creek and listened to the sounds of water tumbling over rocks as we ate lunch.  All-in-all it was a beautiful day.

     I hope to spend more of my days in this way...exploring our beautiful natural world and having fun with my family.   There are still so many scenic, unspoiled places out there, but they are disappearing and rather quickly.  Can we continue to take them for granted?  Dare we assume that they will still be there for my children to bring their children to?  I wonder.

     While we were hiking we stopped to read the few educational plaques that were posted along the trails.  I already knew that when this country was settled, most of what is now the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania was covered with forests much like the one I was standing in.  William Penn named the Commonwealth Pennsylvania for a reason ( it means Penn's Woods).  What I didn't know was that in the last 100 years of human progress, population growth and industrialization, the forests of Pennsylvania have been reduced to 1/10th of 1 percent of their original size.  Think about that for

Bee-ing a Good Citizen

      The idea of being a good citizen means different things to different people, but I think that, at it's core, good citizenship refers to doing not what is easiest or best for oneself, but focusing more on what will contribute most to the common good.  Some will explain it as being helpful to one's neighbors, others may describe it as loyalty to one's country.  What creates variations in our definitions of good citizenship is our individual perspectives of what larger context we are considering ourselves a part, and, what obligations we feel toward that larger context.

     My beliefs lead me to view the entire planet as the larger context of which I am but a small part.  I believe that we are all - the plants, the animals, all of humanity - part of an interdependent web of existence.  We are all part of one large ecosystem and our obligation is to ensure the well-being and continuity of that entire system and all of its members.  While I know that some may not share these beliefs or simply may not care enough to have given it any thought, I am happy to see that, little by little

The Importance of Marriage

      There is no doubt that marriage is an important institution in many cultures.  It is a formal commitment between two people who promise to love and care for each other, ideally, for a lifetime.  But just how important is it?

     Some of the issues facing our world today include terrorism, war, genocide, poverty, hunger, and a growing, global environmental crisis.  Within the United States itself, we are battling rising fuel prices and food costs, stagnant wages, health care and education quality and access issues, and drug-related violent crime to name but a few.

     If we were to prioritize these issues, where would marriage fit in do you think?  What would we do first?  Would we try to stop a terrorist bombing that threatened thousands of lives or would we dicker over who isn't willing to sit with whom at the wedding reception?  Would we try to stop the environmental degradation that, unchecked, will eventually make life on this planet impossible and lead to the extinction of the whole human race or would we argue over whether the ice sculpture should be a cupid or a castle?  Would we do something to help make sure that everyone who is sick can  (Read more...)

The Trouble With Sex in America

                                                                                                  

Sex is alive and well in America.  You never have far to look far to find it.  Our society is saturated with it.  Movies, magazines, billboards, t.v. shows, advertising, even Disney pop stars reek of it.  And yet, in spite of the proliferation of sexual imagery and activity, America still attempts to maintain antiquated, puritanical sexual ideals.

     Unfortunately, as so often happens, our behavior doesn't quite manage to live up to the ideals we espouse.  And so, while our children's innocence is stolen from them earlier and earlier, our teens make promises that they can never be expected to keep while being fed a steady diet of sexual imagery and innuendo and our adults gorge themselves on every variation of the act they can imagine, we all busy ourselves trying to maintain the facade of purity.

    We talk the talk, but don't walk the walk.  We send mixed messages to our young people, perpetuate the idea of sex as some sort of guilty pleasure and let our own confused and twisted ideas about sex influence important government policies that end up being misguided, unethical and downright harmful.  (Read more...)

Domestic Violence Rages On

     One of my guiding principles in life is that, oftentimes, no news is good news.  But I don't mean that in the usual way.  What I mean is that, if you really want to be happy, don't watch the news. 

     Don't misunderstand me...I like to be informed.  I don't want to be completely ignorant of what is happening in the world around me.  But there is so much going on that is so unpleasant and that I have no control over, that sometimes, not watching the news is the best option.  In fact, therapists will often recommend this to patients who are anxiety-ridden or depressed.  Being bombarded with messages of doom and gloom over which you have no control is enough to drive anyone to the brink of suicide.

     Occasionally though, I forget.  The other day, I tore myself away from the computer, made myself some lunch and sat down in front of the t.v. to enjoy it.  It was exactly 12 noon, so of course the noon news was just beginning.  By nine minutes past the hour I had heard about a fire that gutted someone's home, an accident involving two trucks, a robbery or two, a home invasion, another fire, and two stories about two separate men in two separate places in our viewing area beating women with baseball bats. Not one positive story to give me any hope that life was still worth  (Read more...)

Questions of Morality

     Psst...I have a secret to tell you.  You might find it quite shocking.  Religion does not have a corner on the morality market.  No really, it's true...left to our own devices, ordinary people all adhere (or at least try to adhere) to the same basic set of moral standards.  Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Humanists, Atheists all tend to agree on the same moral precepts...love and compassion, caring for the sick and weak, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, don't kill, lie or steal etc..

     Questions of morality have to do with how what we do effects the happiness and/or suffering of others.  Morals are our code of conduct, our rules for living, our ideas and beliefs about what is good or bad, right or wrong.  It turns out that most of us share a common set of moral standards.  Of course, whether or not we manage to live by them is quite another story.  But what we hold up as our ideals is remarkably consistent.

     Of course, religious leaders would have us believe otherwise.  Here in the U.S. the most vocal of those religious leaders are what we have come to call "Conservative Christians."  Christianity does claim the most adherents of any religion in America, but the most conservative of those Christians wield an inordinate amount of power.  They are very vocal and very forceful when it comes to (Read more...)

Voice of the Earth

      The Earth is trying to tell us something...droughts, global warming, shrinking polar ice, more frequent and powerful storms, a rapidly increasing rate of species extinction.  Not with words, but with pictures and events...these are the ways our planet tries to communicate that things are changing, and not necessarily for the better.  Why aren't we listening?

     In the early days of mankind, we lived in harmony with nature.  We were born out of it and sustained by it.  The relationship was intimate and unquestionable.

     As time went on, we continued to rely on the earth for sustenance, but we organized into villages and societies and eventually into nations.  We progressed, people's duties became more specialized and our modern societies became more industrialized. Only those involved in agricultural endeavors continued their close association with Mother Nature.  The rest of us became more and more distant from her.

     Humanity as a whole began to see itself as separate from nature, and perhaps more disturbingly, as superior.  Our focus became less about honoring and respecting the earth and more about subduing it.  (Read more...)

Universal Health Care in America - It's Time for the Truth

     It seems that the time for Universal Health Care in America has come...or has it?  Other nations have been providing quality health care to their citizens for decades, yet the very mention of the idea here in the States gives rise to claims of Socialist agendas, vitriolic accusations of laziness, and other hateful, ignorant and nonsensical rhetoric.

     Why does the idea of Universal Health Care seem to bring out the worst in so many people?  As a person who likes to believe that people are inherently good, I find it difficult to maintain that perspective when I hear people claim that they work harder than others and deserve to keep what they have worked so hard for...or that they don't understand why their hard work should help provide for " those slackers" who just want to live off of everyone else.  Excuse me...am I hearing right?

     So many people in this country work hard everyday, often at more than one job, just to keep food on the table.  Many have no health care coverage or inadequate coverage.  Even those who think they have good insurance often find that their insurers refuse to pay for much of their care.  It's a little thing called record profits in the insurance industry through claim denial.   Sure, there are a few lazy people out there who just want to work the system, but they are the minority.  Most of our less fortunate people are hard-working individuals...people who chose social work over law school or to help support their families instead (Read more...)

Coming Together for Change

     We are in the midst of perhaps the most exciting presidential race in American history; one based on hope, change and new possibilities. But a dream without a plan is nothing more than a wish. 

      Thoughtful planning, skill, strength and diplomacy are essential if we are to see our dreams made real. At this very moment we are standing at the threshold, ready to step into a bold new future....a time when we can actually envision changing our “what if” daydreams into “when” realities. It is truly a time of golden opportunity.

     Our country has always been a land of opportunity, and one that has encouraged the participation of the (Read more...)

Ending Violence Against Women

     Perhaps you know a woman who has been the victim of violence...perhaps you are that woman.  If so, you are no stranger to this topic.  Or maybe, you don't think that any of the women you know has been a victim of violence, sexual or otherwise and that this is all a lot of hype.  Well, think again.

     Violence against women and girls continues unabated in every continent, country and culture. It takes a devastating toll on women’s lives, on their families, and on society as a whole. Most societies prohibit such violence — yet the reality is that too often, it is covered up or tacitly condoned.                                                                                                          — UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon, 8 March 2007

     Here are the facts as published by the United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM):

• At least 1 out of 3 women in the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime.
• For women aged 15-44, violence is a major cause of disability or death.  (Read more...)